I had the news on last night while I was cooking dinner and a news story came on about how more and more people are claiming to be Navy Seals in the hopes of bedding women, furthering careers or getting free alcohol. This really makes me mad because I'm a Chief in the Navy and have given up a lot to serve my country.
These people who are impersonating the fine men who make up our Special Forces have absolutely NO clue what's involved when you volunteer to serve your country. When you sign up, raise your hand and pledge your oath you're not only volunteering to serve your country, but what most people fail to realize is that you're also volunteering to work long hours, stand 24 hour duty, spend months away from home and missed holidays and birthdays. And that's usually before a family is thrown into the mix.
I have done a few deployments in my 19 years of service and not without some regret. My first two or three deployments were hard, but there weren't any children involved. With children added; deployments turn into nightmares of 'what-if's' and some regret.
The 'what-if's' can range from, 'will my child remember me?' 'Will my child understand, or will he or she hate me for my choice?' I left for deployment when my 10 year old wasn't quite two years old and returned 9 months later. When I left there were a lot of reporters who wanted to question both my (now ex) husband and I on the hardships of deployment when it's the mom who leaves, and how he was going to cope caring for a toddler on his own. I don't remember a lot about that morning, but what I do remember was I just wanted the reporters to go away so I could get through my own good-byes without adding to the stress of an already sad situation. Coming home wasn't much better. Sure, I was excited to come back and see my small family, but as soon as I found them, the reporters found us. This time around, they gave us a minute to hug and shed some tears but when it came time to hold my son for the first time in almost a year, he didn't want me. He wanted his dad and made it known in no uncertain terms. That was a punch to the gut. He was all I could think about while I was gone, his pictures were wall paper in my rack and he was what got me through each day and then I come home and he didn't want any part of me. It was like I was a stranger to him and in a way I was. I remember I relinquished him to his dad because no amount of hugging him would console him and stop his flow of tears, as I handed him over I heard a reporter ask me, "Is it hard to back and know your child doesn't want you to touch him?" What was I supposed to say to that? "Yes, I'm thrilled that my son doesn't want me." "Sure it's great to be home and know that I'm a stranger to my own son?" What I said instead was something to the effect of, "I'm glad to be home yes, but obviously have to reconnect with my family. Now if you'll excuse us, I just want to go home." Later that day, he did let me hold him and we even played together. Now almost eight years later, that deployment is a distant memory.
I do have some regrets...regrets over missed firsts. First words, first steps, first day of school, etc. etc. I have regrets over missed birthdays, holidays, soccer and baseball games and just watching them be kids in general. Fortunately for me, I have really awesome friends who would take lots and lots of pictures and send them to me, so the time apart from my children wouldn't seem too hard. And thankfully, my children understand why their dad (he's also military) and I do what we do. We keep them safe and keep the 'bad guys' away. That's not saying that anytime I had to leave for any length of time that they've always been happy, go lucky children; no, they would be upset and angry and always question how long I would be gone and when I would be home. But now with my current job requiring little to no travel and my prospective retirement coming up in 13 months my children are getting more and more excited about the prospect of mom having a ‘regular’ job and dressing like ‘normal’ moms do. And I'm excited that I won't be missing anymore birthdays, holidays or other 'firsts'.
I sincerely wish that those people who are impersonating Navy Seals or any other uniformed service member would think twice about what they’re saying when they claim to have served their country. And if that’s not enough to deter them from doing it in the future, then by all means I think we should sign them up to serve for a year or two and maybe that will will make them think twice before lying.
* This post is not to offend anyone or place blame on any particular person. These are just my opinions.
No comments:
Post a Comment